Sunday, July 27, 2008

Online Pizza Good Idea?

I used to have no problems ordering pizzas online. It was really convenient and I could even schedule a delivery time for later. Granted it's not much different than making a phone call, but when you send a message online, there is no room for misinterpretation, garbled pronunciation, poor speaking or poor hearing, its printed out in black and white. No excuses.

When you order online, there is a space for tips. I usually tipped five dollars electronically in advance, the pizza arrived on-time if not early every time.

But, one day I thought, "wait a minute, a tip is supposed to be a reward for good service, not a bribe for good service" so I did a little experiment. I ordered pizza online, but withheld the tip. It was going to be double the usual tip, but I was going to save it until the actual delivery.

As I suspected, what pizza delivery people interpret as a "tip" is really a bribe for good service.

My tip was going to start at ten dollars. For every minute early, I would have added a dollar. For every minute late, I subtracted a dollar. My pizza was forty minutes late and cold.

I sent a scathing email to the management about the experience, and in return was sent several coupons for free pizza which I promptly threw away.

The reward for the free coupons is not mentioning the name of the business, but that doesn't really matter, does it? "Tips" are actually bribes for good service in the online pizza delivery racket.